#Madeline’s Mail | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kn-1013 · 27 days ago

Text

Alligator Blood (AU) Part 1 - Tall Child

Summary: Travis isn't living with his father anymore, he's taking care of his sister and living in the Addison Apartments, because his father's been arrested and he's an adult now. He just wishes he felt like it. Word Count: 5,221 Rating: T Pairing: Gen/None Warnings: Alcoholism/substance abuse, mentions of past childhood abuse

A/N: This is the first thing I've written and finished about my non-magic cult AU. The basic premise is that the cult exists within Nockfell, but it's a lot smaller and, as the title suggests, magic isn't real, so none of their efforts amounted to anything. A lot of this AU just focuses on trauma recovery, because that's what I enjoy writing about most. Enjoy :)

========

“You’re gonna be able to drive me to school, right?” A voice rung in his head, the echoes pounding in rhythm with the throb. “Travis?”

He groaned, registering the matted bath rug underneath him, and the hard linoleum floor he sat on with it. There was something sticky on the side of his face, and his shoulder ached from how he’d been sleeping on it all night. He tried to move, but his entire body felt like a magnet was pulling it back to the ground.

“Ugh, nevermind, just tell me where the keys are.” His exasperated sister flipped him onto his back, digging through the pockets of his pajama pants and sighing when she came up with nothing.

“No, no, I got it.” Travis slurred his words a bit as he managed to sit up, leaning against the tiled bathroom wall for support. He pretended he could blame everything on the sleep inertia rather than somehow managing to wake up both drunk and hungover at the same time.

“You have wine all over your face and in your hair, you don’t ‘got’ anything.” Madeline snapped, gesturing to his head. Travis blinked dumbly as he reached up and touched his temple, realizing that’s what the sticky sensation was. He was just glad it wasn’t vomit this time.

“Whatever, I’ll clean up. It’s fine. I’m fine.” He didn’t sound very convincing, and based on the look Madeline gave him, he wasn’t. He slowly stood up, gripping onto the sink for support, and looked at the mess in the mirror.

The right side of his face was now colored a mild reddish-purple, but it didn’t stand out too harshly against his tanned skin, it was the sticky feeling that bothered him the most. His hair was a different story, though; blond strands stained a reddish-pinkish-purple depending on where you looked, bunched together in ugly clumps. His dark eyes were flanked with a sharp redness from all the drunk crying he did the previous night—or, one of them was still dark. The right one was faded, now, and his vision had been going along with it as time went on. He tried not to think about why as he stared directly at it.

To his left, Madeline sighed. Travis didn’t want to look at the sad, pitying expression he knew was on her face right now. “Just, hurry up, please. I don’t wanna be late.”

Again.

That was the part she left out.

Travis washed himself up rather quickly after managing to get himself started, only nicking himself shaving once this time, which was a good sign. He didn’t bother getting dressed since he had nowhere to go today, but he did change out of the clothes he slept on the bathroom floor in, covered in wine, snot and tears, maybe a little blood of unknown origin.

He wore some thin, plaid pajama pants and a band shirt that Larry had gotten him, somewhat of a housewarming gift and a reconciliation gift at the same time. He swore they were really good, that Travis should check them out because he’d probably like them more than other metal bands, but he never did, he just wasn’t sure he’d be able to get into a band called Acid Bath.

He trudged out of the apartment after Madeline. As he left, he spotted Sal’s dad, Henry, exiting the elevator with some mail in his hand. He looked tired, but he perked up as he spotted Travis and his sister, and Travis tried to mentally prepare himself for a short conversation with the man.

“Ah, mornin’ guys. How are you?” He smiled. Travis couldn’t explain why that made him anxious.

“Tired, the usual. What else can you feel on a Monday?” Travis shrugged.

“It’s Wednesday, moron.” Madeline said.

“Wednesday, whatever. It’s one of the days of the week. I got close.” Travis fired back sharply.

“Well, at least you were only two days off, I woke up thinking it was Friday for some reason.” Henry shrugged, and Travis tried to let himself feel normal for a second, but it was just another face he put on. Just another long-practiced photogenic smile he pulled out. “That’s being an adult for you, huh?” He said back.

He could speak the part all he wanted, he’d always been praised by the adults for sounding a lot older than he was, but when he shut the door to his bedroom at night, he curled up in the sheets he brought from the house he grew up in and he felt just as small as he did at eight years old.

“Yeah, it sure is. Well, I’ll let you go, get Maddie to school before she’s late and all and I’ll catch you later. Say hi to Sal for me if you see him, alright?” Henry gave a stiff yet polite smile as he grabbed the doorknob with one hand and waved goodbye with the other. Travis and Madeline nodded, waving back as they stepped into the elevator.

“Will do, Mr. Fisher.” Travis said as the doors closed.

The two of them ran to their dad’s–right, now it was Travis’s–old pickup truck, trying to dodge the rain as best they could. The truck sputtered to life as he turned the key and he pulled out, only hitting the curb once as he turned out of the apartment parking lot.

“Why don’t you go on dates or anything fun like that?” Madeline asked as she adjusted her hair and makeup in the flip-down mirror, and Travis rolled his eyes. He was too tired for a conversation like this, too caught up in his head about all his flaws, and he scoffed bitterly. “That won’t be happening any time soon.” He said, focusing on the road.

Madeline pouted. “Why not? You clean up pretty nice when you lay off the booze, I’m sure plenty of girls are in-”

“I’m gay.”

The car went quiet.

“Oh.”

He didn’t know why he’d said it at all, let alone right now instead of in a situation he could escape from if she got angry. But she didn’t seem angry, she seemed like she was just… Thinking about it. The anger would probably come later, he was sure, when she realized the social repercussions of having a half-blind faggot for an older brother.

Nevermind the fact that the only other faggots he knew of in Nockfell he’d had a very strained relationship with, considering how he used to bully them for being faggots in high school, back when he was still convinced he could become normal if he’d just prayed hard enough.

Normal. Hah. What a fucking joke.

Larry’s shirt felt like it was choking him.

The rest of the drive to Nockfell High was quiet. It didn’t exactly feel tense, but the air still felt thick with realization.

“See you after school. Don’t get too wasted to pick me up.” Madeline’s movements and tone were hesitant, awkward. She left the car in the drop-off line, and Travis just nodded, his mouth dry.

When he got back to the apartments, he stood by the entrance for a while underneath the awning looking at the pathetic little life he’s managed to make with his sister in the wake of their father’s arrest. Of the arrest of a number of other townspeople. Of the arrest of their other sister.

It was raining when the FBI had arrived, too, easily pulling him off of the bloody pulp he’d been beating his father into in front of the church when his sister struggled. He’d been screaming so hard his throat was raw, his own blood and tears mixing in with the weather, and a woman pulled him into her arms, thrashing and shrieking like an animal. He couldn’t tell if she was trying to comfort him or restrain him.

He didn’t know they were coming. Nobody did.

Looking back on it, Travis thought there must’ve been a God, because that was the only way to explain the cosmic irony of finally being saved from their father the moment he’d finally accepted that nobody was ever coming to save them. That’s why he was prepared to kill his father that night, and he still feels like he should’ve, but when the social worker held his head into her chest as they put his barely conscious father into handcuffs, he curled up in her arms and wailed.

Now he was here.

Twenty-one, almost twenty-two, but he didn’t feel like it. In an apartment that didn’t feel like it was his, full of a lot of nostalgia and second-hand things.

He went to the bathroom and properly cleaned up the mess he’d left on the floor that morning, finding that his wine bottle still had a bit left inside. He finished it off as he cleaned, letting the alcohol lubricate his mind. When he was done, he tossed the bottle in the garbage and grabbed some more from the small wine rack by the kitchen as he continued around the house, grabbing his and Madeline’s laundry to bring down to the basement, then doing the dishes, vacuuming the carpet, mopping the kitchen, wiping the counters, cleaning the toilet, dusting the tube, re-organizing the fridge and pantry, cleaning out the kitchen drawers and doing anything else he could think of to keep his drunk mind off of the weight on his back.

He was going to bust out the grout to fix some holes in the tiling in the bathroom when he realized his insober hands would be far too imprecise. He needed to cut himself off if he wanted to be sober enough to pick up Madeline later.

He checked the time, assuming it had to have been several hours since he’d dropped his sister off, but it was only half past eleven. He gave a shaky sigh, unsure of what else to fill the time with if he didn’t want to keep thinking about it all but couldn’t get any drunker than he already was.

Sitting on the couch, he decided to flip on the TV. Maybe he could find something that would turn his brain off.

He channel surfed, flipping through morning talk shows, news channels, sitcom re-runs. He sat on an episode of Family Batters for a bit before deciding that Sbeve Urkel just wasn’t doing it for him today and went back to searching when something caught his attention.

It was the beginning of some children’s show he was only vaguely familiar with, My Glitter Ponies: Rainbow Spectacular. Madeline used to like the toys when she was younger, but she’d grown out of it in recent years. They never got to watch the cartoon, they didn’t have a TV growing up, so the only times they’d ever got to watch it was when they’d gone to a friend’s house. Maybe it was fun.

He pulled his knees to his chest and leaned against the armrest of the tattered love seat Lisa had pulled from the dumpster for him and let the episode play.

It made his chest hurt to think about childhood more often than not. Both his own childhood, and the concept itself left him feeling a deep seated ache. He was often familiar with a feeling he didn’t know the name of, he just called it ‘bad nostalgia’, named as such because nostalgia was usually supposed to feel good, and this generally didn’t. He mostly felt it when he was reminded of the good periods of his childhood, times he wanted to go back and relive just to feel like a child one more time before he had to grow up. Maybe if he was able to have just one good, strong childhood memory to point to, to orient himself under, he would feel ready for all of it to be over and he could finally move on.

But you only get one childhood, and he could never get those years back.

As the cartoon flashed in front of his drunken eyes, magical problems solved with the power of friendship, he was reminded of the figurines his sister handed to him when she wanted him to play with her. The two of them were so small. It was so easy for Kenneth to grab them and throw them around however he wanted, by the arms, by the ears, by the collar, by the hair. But he wasn’t home that day he was thinking of, it was just them in Madeline’s bedroom, and Mary making lunch in the kitchen—macaroni—back before her eyes went so dark and she still smiled. Nobody could get them here, not in Madeline’s bedroom or in his mind.

He woke up a couple of hours later, his face damp with tears. The sound of someone knocking at the door cut through the fog of his fatigue and got up fast enough to make himself dizzy, checking the time as fast as he could. He was thankful to find it was only three, and Madeline got off of school at around three forty-five. Plenty of time.

He stood up more carefully and wiped his face off.

“I’m coming.” He uttered, just loud enough to be heard through the door as he peered through the eyehole to find Henry.

He unlocked the door and opened it, hoping he didn’t look like total shit, but Henry’s grimace told him otherwise.

“Bad time?” He asked.

Travis shook his head. “No, no, I’m just… Y’know.” He wiped his face again.

“I just wanted to check in on ya, see how you were doin’.” Henry gave an apologetic smile. It felt like there was a weight to it that Travis didn’t understand, but he was never good at reading people.

“I’m- I’m alright, Mr. Fisher, thanks.” Travis gave an exhausted one back.

“You sure? ‘Cus you’ve got a stain that’s either blood or wine in your hair, and either way that’s not a good sign to me.” Henry gestured vaguely to a spot on his head, his mouth flattening itself.

Shit, he thought he got all that out.

Travis sighed and leaned against the door frame more heavily, arms loosely crossed, letting go of some of that mask and letting himself look as bad as he felt. Not that he was trying that hard in the first place to look fine, but he definitely looked worse as he took that extra layer off of himself.

“It’s nothing, really. Same shit as usual. Nightmares, bad memories, et cetera.” He smiled to try and make himself seem more lighthearted about it than he was, but he had a feeling it just made him look bitter. Whatever, he was bitter.

“Well even the same shit needs to get talked about, ‘specially if you’re drinking about it at three PM.” Henry’s voice was low and sympathetic, tilting his head inward while his thumbs hooked themselves through his belt-loops.

Travis really did not want to have a conversation like this right now. “Look, Mr. Fisher, I have to pick up Maddie soon, so-”

“Hey, doesn’t have to be with me. It could even be in a journal or something, that’s what Sal and Lisa do. Just as long as you’re not completely leaving it in here.” He tapped his temple with a raised brow, as if he was giving some kind of sage advice that Travis wasn’t already aware of. It’s not like he was trying to keep all of this in, it’s that he didn’t have anyone but Maddie, and she already occasionally has to comfort him when he wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night, he can’t keep putting her in that position.

And Henry… That was Sal Fisher’s father. As in, Sal Fisher, one of the guys he used to bully for being a faggot in school. The guy who’d given him a lot more patience and grace than anyone else did, much more than he felt like he deserved. They’d long since reconciled, they’d never really hated each other anyway, but it wasn’t easy to pretend like tension wasn’t still there, especially when facing his father. He’d rather keep his distance.

Travis sighed. “…Alright, I will. And,” He flicked his eyes downwards. “Thanks. For checking.” He didn’t want Henry to feel like he was being completely rejected, even if he was going to take his suggestion of talking about it and immediately throw it into the garbage.

“No problem, kid. Just remember that people need people to live. Take care, I’ll see you around.” He walked back to his apartment, his socked feet padding over the matted and stomped-down carpet. Travis watched him until he opened the door and went inside, wondering why the man kept coming over like this, checking on him, trying to be friends with him. Travis didn’t want or need friends right now, and as nice as the guy was, he kind of wished he would take the hint and fuck off. Must be a family trait.

He shut the front door and went to clean himself up in the bathroom so he didn’t look like total shit when he went to pick up his sister from school.

He showered, moisturized, combed his hair, put cold spoons over his eyes to try and keep the bags underneath them at bay, and by the time he was finished, he almost looked like a person. He still felt somewhat disoriented as he put on his shoes and walked out of the apartment, but he could drive with one eye closed if he needed to.

He pulled out of the apartment parking lot and managed to stay in one lane for the majority of the drive.

In the drop-off line, Madeline flung her backpack into the back seat aggressively before getting in, slamming the car door shut and leaning against the window with her arms crossed. Travis raised a brow as he made his way through the line and back onto the main road. “Bad day?” He asked. Madeline just rolled her eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” She huffed. Travis shrugged and decided to leave it alone. “Alright, then.”

The drive was quiet for a few minutes before Madeline spoke up again.

“It’s just that Celine is pissed off at me because I told her George Michael is gay and that stuck-up bitch won’t let it go.” She glared at the passing fences and power lines.

Travis blinked. That was news to him. “He is?” He asked into the rear view, and Madeline just looked at him incredulously. “Duh!” She said. Travis hummed contemplatively as he watched the world pass by from his dashboard. Just more pop-culture bullshit he was out of touch with, nothing new, but if George Michael was gay and doing alright, maybe he should listen to the guy sometime.

“And… You too, apparently.” Travis tensed as they made eye contact in the rear view again.

Right, he’d told her that this morning. He had no idea why. Maybe he was drunker than he thought he was this morning, maybe he was tired of her asking when he’ll go on a date or something, he wasn’t sure. That was the first time he’d ever said it out loud and he barely remembered it.

“Yeah.” Travis said quietly as he focused back on the road.

“How come you never told me?” She asked, and Travis could hear the disappointment in her voice.

He paused, focusing on the way his head swam a bit as he drove through the old roads. “I wanted to be normal.” His answer was shockingly honest, but it’s not like he had many options.

Madeline scoffed. “You know everything dad said was bullshit.” She said, looking back out the window.

A bitterness bubbled in Travis’s chest. She didn’t get it, she was normal.

“Knowing and believing are two different things when your dad beats you because your hair is too long and he doesn’t want you looking like a faggot.” That was a bit harsher than he’d intended for it to be. Madeline looked through the mirror with an apologetic expression before looking back out the window.

“Sorry.” She said quietly.

“It’s okay.” He replied, his face softening.

They arrived back at the apartments a couple of minutes later, wiping their shoes off on the doormat. Madeline made a beeline for the elevator while Travis stopped and double checked the mailbox first.

Bills, bills, local news station, a less local news station, oh—he’s pre-approved for some credit card he doesn’t care about. Awesome.

“Hurry up or I’m letting the doors close without you, dickhead.” Madeline called from the elevator, her arm held out, and Travis rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, I’m coming, you little shit.”

They stepped into the apartment and Madeline tossed her bag on the couch before pausing.

“It’s really clean today.” She looked around and made her way to the kitchen, looking for something sweet. She seemed careful, knowing what it meant when things were too put-together. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It was nothing.” He grabbed his copy of Carrie off the coffee table and sat down to read it again.

It went silent as Madeline started heating up some of their apple cider on the stove. When it was done, she poured two glasses and left the rest on a low heat setting and covered it for later. She walked over to the couch, nudging her brother’s leg with her foot to get his attention, and she handed him the warm glass.

“Thanks.” Said Travis.

She hummed as she sat down close next to him, her head on his shoulder, watching the quiet TV he’d left on all day as he sipped his cider and read.

“You know we’re in this together, right?” Madeline asked, after a few moments of silence.

Travis looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was staring straight ahead. “Yeah, of course.” He replied.

“Then why don’t you tell me stuff?” She sounded more than just disappointed this time, she sounded betrayed. “I tell you everything, but you don’t tell me what’s bugging you, you just drink. I’ve been asking you about dates for months and it’s only now that you tell me you don’t even like girls. Now you’re stress cleaning again and you won’t even tell me why. Is it money?” She turned to face him, and Travis looked at her apologetically.

“If it’s money, I could get a part-time job. I’m not in any clubs or anything special like that, and my grades are fine, I promise I can help.” Travis sighed and put the book in his lap.

“No, it’s not money, we’re okay on money.” Travis said, and they were. They didn’t really have any savings at the moment, but other than that, they were alright, so it’s not like it was a complete lie.

“Then what is it, Travis? Just talk to me, please?” She pleaded.

“I don’t need to be putting my shit on you like that, Lin, you just need to worry about finishing school.” His voice was soft as he tried to dodge her questions.

“Bullshit! How am I supposed to worry about finishing school when I’m not even sure you’ll be able to drive me there in the mornings because you keep drinking yourself to sleep every night?” Now she really looked pissed, and Travis had a feeling that it wasn’t Celine’s indignancy that put her in that mood on the way home.

He didn’t respond. He didn’t have a good answer to any of her questions, but especially not that one.

“I’m worried about you, Travis.” Madeline replied to his silence. “I know it’s been hard with the trial coming up and Mary being put away, but we’re not gonna get through this if you don’t talk to me.”

Shit, he’d forgotten about the trial. It was supposed to happen in late February. He’d been so stressed with other bullshit that he forgot to get stressed about that. And Mary—what day was it? They were supposed to visit her in the hospital that Saturday.

Travis set his book aside, and his drink on the table, sighing. He wrapped an arm around his sister tiredly. “It’s just bad memories. It’s nothing I can’t handle.” He said. It wasn’t exactly true, but it wasn’t entirely false either.

“Then why do you keep drinking about it?” Madeline’s voice was quiet and bland.

Travis sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. “It just makes things easier.”

“Easier than talking to me about it?”

“Look-” Travis started, but he cut himself off, staring at the wall behind the TV as he held her. “It’s just hard.” His voice shook as he realized he didn’t even know what to say. He hardly understood why he was so upset this morning. He knows he’d been drinking, but he felt so alienated from the ache of that familiar smallness he felt, curled up on the couch. Madeline looked up at him with a soft expression, and he looked away.

“I used to think that when we got away from dad, I would know exactly what to do and I’d be able to handle it, but now that I’m here, I don’t understand anything anymore. I went from having no control over my life to having complete responsibility so fast my head is still spinning.” He leaned back against the couch and tugged on his earlobe as he stared at the ceiling. “When you’re a kid, nobody tells you that all the adults are just winging it because you have no idea what’s going to happen next. I don’t even feel like an adult yet, I don’t know if I ever will.”

“Everything changed so fast it feels like I got whiplash.” Madeline replied. “I still can’t believe it’s over. My classmates keep asking me questions, and they make fun of me for it. They call me the cult girl.”

“Yeah, they used to call me church boy. I still can’t believe I tried to hand pamphlets out to people all the time.” He laughed bitterly, and he was hit with familiar pangs of loss over what his father robbed them of. “I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I’m sorry.” Travis’s expression grew anxious as he stared at the ceiling.

“I believe they will.” Madeline said, wrapping her arms around Travis. “As long as we stick together and work hard, things will get better. They have to.”

Travis felt like that outlook was rather naive, but then he remembered Sal Fisher, the boy who’d started it all by moving here and sticking his nose into the Phelps family’s business, not stopping until Travis’s father was arrested. He believed from the start that things would get better, and when Travis walked out of the police station early the morning after his father was taken in, Sal was there with his hair down, damp and clumped together from the rain that happened the previous night. He hadn’t even showered yet.

Travis was shaking, and it wasn’t from the cold, with his arms wrapped around himself. It wasn’t easy at 5’11, but he tried to make himself look as small as possible. He wanted to go home and pull all his hair out, but Sal wrapped a skinny arm around his waist because it was the best his height would allow for, and he led him outside to Larry’s van.

“This is it, Travis. A new start.” He’d said, his voice gentle. “Things are gonna get better.”

“I think you’re right.” Travis said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “As long as we stick together, it’ll be okay.”

Please God, don’t let her be wrong, Travis thought to himself. I don’t think I could take it if she was.

After a comfortable silence between the two of them, Madeline spoke up again. “Drink your cider before it gets cold, I made that for you, asshole.”

Travis let go of her and punched his sister in the shoulder a bit roughly. “Shut up, you were the one who made it and then decided to have a gut-wrenching conversation immediately afterward. Do we have any bourbon or anything to put in here?” Travis got up from the couch and went to look in the kitchen.

“Oh come on, seriously?” Madeline got up from the couch looking about ready to throttle him.

“Don’t worry, you can have some too, if you want.” Travis smirked as he picked the large bourbon bottle from the corner of the kitchen floor. It was too big to keep anywhere else.

She grumbled under her breath before giving in to the teenage allure of a trusted older family member offering her alcohol. “Okay fine, scoot over.” Madeline grabbed her glass and bumped herself into Travis’s side, causing him to almost spill the bourbon he was pouring into his cider.

“Oof- you little shit.” He glared at her, but there was no fire behind it, and Madeline laughed at him. “C’mon, my turn.” She gave up her cup and made her best puppy-dog eyes. Travis rolled his and poured a good amount of bourbon into her drink.

“Now c’mon, they’re about to play The Odd Couple on the ABC channel. That’s a fun one to watch drunk.” Travis began herding his sister back to the living room.

“Oh, great. Speaking of,” Madeline started as they sat down. “When are you gonna get a boyfriend? If you lay off the booze, I’m sure plenty of guys are into tall twinks with problems.”

Travis did a double take and nearly choked on his drink. “I am not a- where did you even learn that word? Fuck you.” Madeline just laughed at him a lot harder than he wanted to hear. “My friend Georgie. He said you’d get mad if I called you that.” Travis sneered. “Yeah, because he’s wrong. Tell Georgie to go fuck himself.”

Madeline raised her brows as she put her legs on his lap. “Mm, I don’t know, I think he’s right.”

Travis scoffed and continued bickering with his sister as he flipped through the channels, catching the opening credits to The Odd Couple just in time.

As Madeline kicked him in the shoulder and he threatened to kill her for almost making him spill his drink, he was reminded of his conversation with Henry earlier, about making sure things don’t stay in his head. He certainly felt better than he did before, he didn’t even feel like getting completely wasted tonight. It felt like he was drinking for fun, and not to make himself sleep as quickly as possible. He actually wanted to be awake as the afternoon faded into evening, to watch the movie with his sister, to get some drunk cooking done for the two of them later.

He sunk into his couch and smiled as the bourbon started to hit him a little bit.

Henry was right. People need people, and no two people needed each other more than Travis and Madeline, because they were all each other had right now.

As long as they held onto each other, things were going to get better.

#my fics #sally face #travis phelps #madeline phelps #alligator blood (au)

15 notes · View notes

madwomansapologist · 1 year ago

Text

A&W | tamerlane usher & william 'bill-t' wilson

Navigation | More Tamerlane Usher | AO3

synopsis: You were the new girl. A play pretend, for Tamerlane Usher. A way to satisfy his wife, for Bill. They just couldn't predict you would be Tamerlane's clone. Or that you would do them so well. [3,6K]

warnings: smut. prostituition. threesome. voyeurism. masturbation. p in v. cream pie. oral. fingering. tw: use of 'good boy' and 'so fucking pretty'. dom!tamerlane. switch!reader. female!reader. reader is described to look alike tamerlane.

Tamerlane Usher expected to see a new, different face when she opened her front door. "Sorry for being late," you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. With a delicate smile, you reached out to her. "You may call me Love."

But all Tammy saw was herself.

It was like facing a mirror. You weren't a clone, there were enough different traits and details for her to be sure of it, but you looked like another version of Tamerlane. Like someone's blurred memory of her.

Your hair was a little bit longer, but it was the same color and texture as hers. Your eyelashes were a little bit ticker, but your eyes shone in the same tone as hers. Your smile was beaming and unapolagetic, but your lips were exactly like hers. So different, and yet so similar.

Tamerlane thought about how she so easily can forget someone's face. How sometimes imagination take place over memory. She imagined if anyone ever thought about her, but only pictured you. Would Bill ever do that? After this night, would he think about Tammy and see her copycat instead?

"Love?" Tamerlane licked her lips, a smirk growing slowly on her face. She didn't touch your hand, just gave you space to enter. "We thought you had changed your mind."

After the Goldbug launch, the last girl warned she was moving to another city. Tamerlane couldn't just hire anyone. First: she has standarts. Second: she has a reputation. It took her sometime to find someone, and for those past few weeks she felt starved.

She was so relieved when the last girl told about you. After discussing with you through e-mail, Tammy knew you were open to most of her desires. Then it came the NDAs, blood tests, creation of a new bank account. And Pym's research about you.

When he called her 4am to only say you were clean, Tamerlane almost felt like herself again.

"I would never," you said as your followed Tammy. "The last girl send me the wrong address."

It was difficult to not look at yourself through any of the mirrors there. Althought, maybe you could just look at Tamerlane. She is your distorced mirror.

After she gave you the envelope with the payment, a man came out of the kitchen with a bowl of salad. And his face certainty weren't new for you.

Of course you knew who Tamerlane Usher was. It feels impossible to try to survive without bumping into something owened by a Usher or their partners. You knew her name, her brand, but not her face. As any smart rich person, she went out of her away to not be famous.

Maybe you could pass by Roderick Usher and not realize who he was. Madeline could be right behind you and you would never noticed. But that would never happened with William "Bill" Wilson.

His face is everywhere. Sometimes it feels like it's stalking you. So many products, banners, commercials. It's impossible to use Tik Tok and never had seen at least a second of his classes. Either because of his knowledge about health or how no one can understand how he is able to smile while working out, people know Bill.

Bill is the face of Tamerlane's empire.

And here was him, serving the table.

Everything smelled so good. And also looked so delicious. Even the salad. Distracted by the food, it took you a second to notice the mesmerized look on his face.

"Your hair," Bill murmured. He sounded uncomfortable. Almost ofended. He glared at Tamerlane. "You chose that wig?"

You reached out to him already expecting to be ignored as when you did the same with Tamerlane. "Hello, Bill. I'm Love," it surprised you when he grabbed your hand.

It was a stiff, reservated movement. But you still feel like he saw you as more than the thing that will spicy the night. Like when you act as polite as you can with an worker because you want be sure that they will understand you see them as human beings. The quick gest carried some sort of companionship.

You both are working for Tamerlane tonight.

"That's my hair..." You touched a strand of it, twirling it on your hand. You tried to sound unsure, insecure. "You don't like it?"

Bill hesitated. Normally they ask Tamerlane if she liked what they chose, not him. Those girls could make him bleed and they would still ask Tamerlane if they should keep going. It never is about him, Bill don't want it to be about him, so why bother? But you held your gaze on him, waiting for an opinion, and so he had to came up with one.

"Is just that," it was almost a whisper. Bill put his hands behind his back, and for a second ignored your gaze by looking at Tammy. "You both are identicals."

"I don't think so," you said, touching your lips lightly. By his tone, you couldn't say if it was a good or a bad thing for him. You turned to Tammy, who was pushing a chair for her, and then went back to Bill's eyes. Your smirk surprised him. "My clothes are cheaper."

That made them smile. You unbuttoned your black coat, and Bill took it from your hands. Even from behind, you could feel him staring at you. Staring at your emerald dress.

Tamerlane, already sat on her chair, saw you giving her a little spin. That made her breathe in. She could already feel her womb warming up.

You both were matching.

"I thought we should start with dinner. Let's do a celebration, maybe a birthday. Just eat, drink, enjoy one another. Do you drink wine? Good. We'll talk about the rest later."

Bill pulled your chair. You sat at the beginning of the table, and held his hand before Bill could get away from you. Carressing it, you felt the warmth of his skin. "I'm so, so sorry for being late," you whispered. "I really am."

"That's fine," Bill finally said after a few seconds of silence.

"I can see you worked a lot. Everything looks amazing." You put your head in between your hands, watching Bill sitting beside you. "I love when you cook for me. It makes me feel like I'm part of a team. Our team."

Unsure of how to proceed, Bill looked at Tamerlane. He waited for instructions, maybe just as controled by Tamerlane as you. Her eyes were approving, so he turned back to you with more confidence.

Bill think it's so funny how he was turned into a puppet by her hands. Who would imagine that he would ever bend like that? Love really fucks people up. At least his love for Tamerlane did fucked him up.

He would do anything for her. Anything to keep her. Including this. If she needs that, so be it.

"I feel the same," and Bill really wasn't lying. He just wasn't. "Makes me feel part of something."

Tamerlane slid against her chair, intrigued by how this was going.

You grabbed his hand, and he carressed yours. "We against the world, right?"

Bill smiled. "Always."

You knew he was beautiful, who could ignore that fact, but he was so much prettier from up close. So sweet. For a moment you just watched him, and you also felt like he was watching you.

"I almost forgot," you walked to where he put your coat and searched for something on the pockets. "The real reason why I'm late."

You came back with a white, tiny box in your hands. You settled it in front of Bill, and took a bite from the plate he made for you. "Perfect, as always," you licked your lips and tapped the box twice. "C'mon. I want to see your reaction."

He took it on his hands, feeling how light the box was. When he opened it, he saw a hand watch. "Did you liked it? It's so difficult to gift someone. What can I give to someone that can have anything? There are so many things that can go wrong. If you didn't, I can just..."

"I loved it," Bill stopped you. "But I don't have anything for you."

You took it from his hands, and opened to put it around his fist. "You don't need to." Your hands stayed against his forearm, strucking it lightly. "You're more than enough to make me happy."

Tamerlane was already dripping.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Tamerlane told you both to wait while she made sure everything was ready and set. You finished your glass of wine, the only one you drank that night, and got distracted observing the room for long enough to forget you weren't alone.

What remind you of that was noise coming from the kitchen.

You walked slowly, so carefully that Bill didn't even saw you. But you saw him. He bend over the sink, searching for something that looked like a medicine box, murmuring something to himself. And when he found, you recognized the blue pill on his hand.

"That just broke my heart, big boy." The way Bill got startled made you smirk. "I'm not pretty enough for you?"

Alone, you could see how he was more relaxed. Maybe calmer. Near his wife, Bill needs to lie. Near you, he don't need to. Even thought you know that this dinner wasn't entirely a play pretend, it was still one.

"You're not the problem," he murmured.

"Then what is the problem?" You whispered, stepping closer to him. "Don't tell me you gonna fuck a woman for your wife and not even enjoy it?"

"That way is easier for the both of us," Bill whispered, mirroring you. "None of us wants to be here, let's just get it done already."

You held his hand before he could put the pill on his mouth. "You think I don't want to be here?" You got even closer. "That I don't want to be near you?"

Bill didn't knew what to say. He just agreed.

"I can't wait to make you feel good. To make sure you won't have time to think those stupid thoughts. You won't worry about anything else." Carressing his chest, you felt how stiff he really was. How nervous and uncomfortable that whole night has been for him. What a shame. A man as pretty as him don't deserve to ever feel that way. "Because that's what I do. That's what I love to do."

Your hands massaged his shoulders, then his forearms. "So tense," you grabbed Bill's hands and kissed his knuckles. Not even once you looked away from him. "You can pretend I'm her."

Calmly, you slid your fingers against his. Just playing with his skin, letting goosebumps on him. "I won't be ofended. If it's easier for you. It's easier for her, that I know."

Bill whimpered, and you never before wanted so bad to break someone. To take this mask Bill use, his all put together way, and smash it against the ground. To see him wide, unapolagetic.

You bite lightly his middle finger, just to mess with him, before you straighned up your posture. "I promise not to say a damn thing. If it makes it easier. All you need to do is to closer your eyes."

Tamerlane's heels made you look away, but you kept on holding his hand. "Can you do that for me, big boy?" You turned back to him, a ghost of a smile appearing on your face. "Can you fuck me like I'm yours?"

"Everything alright over here?" Tamerlane announced herself.

You blinked at Bill before turning to her. You gave Tammy another beaming smile.

You followed her to the bedroom, the tension rising. You could feel Bill watching you, his gaze burning your back. When Tamerlane locked the door, you took a deep breath.

"Since it's our first time, let's start slowly," Tamerlane walked toward her armchair. "Bill, help her take off her dress. I want you both to kiss, it don't need to be romantic, and then lie on bed with her on top. We'll see how it goes."

You stepped towards Bill. "You like when I wear green?"

"Yes, I do." Bill was more eager to answer this time. Maybe it has something to do with the way you made him unable to look away while you followed Tamerlane.

"I like it better when I'm wearing nothing. And you?"

Tamerlane unbuttoned her pants, unable to look away. This was... different. No one ever bothered to talk. To continue this act no matter what happens. She was salivating.

Bill held your waist, and he did so with force. You felt fingers brush against your ribs, moving up to brush against your breasts, squeezing the flesh of your waist. His gaze alone seemed capable of tearing your dress.

You turned around, and Bill pulled you against him. That felt so right. You took a deep breath, holding his hand against your body. You rubbed against him, feeling him through his pants, and smiled victoriously.

“The zipper,” you whispered.

Bill opened it calmly, noticing every inch of exposed skin, his finger brushing against your back. The dress fell off. You stepped out of it, and kicked it towards Tamerlane.

She smirked.

You were fun.

Which meant she was fun.

Bill grabbed your waist again, but without the dress the touch felt so new. You both just kept like that, as if it was a normal thing for the both of you, until you chose to turned around. You knew you were putting on a little show for the both of them.

“Kiss me,” you commanded. As if it was you the one ordering that. As if it was your idea, not Tammy's. As if you were her. You promised Bill to make him believe you were Tamerlane. You always keep your promises. "Now."

And Bill did as you wanted him to. As you ordered him to.

It was raw. Famine. You felt like Bill was trying to taste your soul. To hold onto it and never let it go. Bill kissed you like he was a starved man, and you accept him like a sheep waiting to be sacrified. And still, you weren't a sheep. You couldn't be one. Not if you want him to see you as Tamerlane.

Tamerlane is a wolf.

You pulled him by the collar of his shirt, not bothering to be gentle. You held him like Bill was yours, which meant that for tonight he would be. You pushed him, causing Bill to stumble back. He gasped, just like Tamerlane.

"Sit down," you demanded.

Bill couldn't think straight, his mind confused from the wine and the desire for more, so you pushed him hard. He fell onto the bed, staring at you from below as if you were a sight he had never seen before. "Is it so difficult to obey me?"

He shook his head. "No," he felt the need to repeat.

If you were Tamerlane, he would never be so needy. You would satisfy him whenever you could. But you can understand her side. There's nothing as beautiful as a giant man smelling like desire.

“Take off your shirt,” you ordered. This time he obeyed. As Bill threw his shirt away, you caressed his chest. So much more delicate than the push, so much more certain than the provocations exchanged in the kitchen. "Good boy."

You sat on his lap, and carefully laid him on the bed. You nibbled his lip, licked his thick neck, scratched his pecs. You slid your hand down his pants, knowing well that Bill was looking at your exposed intimacy, and felt his dick. Getting hard.

Even with tissue separating your skin from his, you knew he was big. That made you drool.

Tamerlane had already thrown her pants away. Her shirt was unbuttoned, her bra lost on the floor. She continued to wear her panties, just because she liked the feeling of them rubbing against her hand.

You grabbed Bill's hand and placed it on your waist. "Squeeze," and he did. His hands roamed your body, and you began to rub yourself against his growing bulge.

You opened his pant, and smirked when you saw his cock. "Say please," you hissed.

Bill swallowed. He squeezed you, his nail digging into your skin, but it was a good pain. "Pretty please," that made you want to get him inside your mouth. Make him melt against your tongue, choke on him until your eye burns, let him occupy your mouth for the rest of the night. But Tamerlane said you were supposed to be on top of him, and you weren't going to disobey her.

You sliding your hand up and down, and saw as Bill closed his eyes. You pushed your thumb against a vein, following it until his most sensitive point. And Bill was indeed sensitive. How long has been since he was last worshiped?

"Tammy," Bill moaned. And when he did it, Tammy let a whimper escape her throat. You stopped breathing, filled with a sense of pride. Bill whispered sweet nothing, chills went down your spine.

When you took him inside you, inch by inch, Bill shuddered. He grabbed your body, scratched your skin, moaned Tamerlane's name. You squeezed your walls, and you saw when Bill lost control. When it was too good to think.

You didn't look at Tamerlane. You could feel her gaze burning you, you knew you only had to look in any of the mirrors to see her, but you didn't dare. You only heard the moans, the wet sounds that her pussy made. That added to Bill inside you almost made you lose control.

Almost, because you wanted them to lose it sooner.

Bouncing on his dick, Bill spread his thick muscular legs. You were surprised when he lifted his torso, pulling your body close, but his mouth against yours silenced any exclamations from you.

Bill held his back, and without any effort he changed the position. Him on top, your legs pinning him against you, his forearms resting on the bed. That kiss was more than anything. He devoured you. And he did it so well you didn't even remember that you were supossed to be on top of him.

Tamerlane also forgot about that.

She just imagined herself in your place. She imagined herself commanding, demanding, mocking him. Tamerlane imagined herself making him feel so good that she would need to remind him to touch her, to look at her, to breathe. And then Tamerlane found herself being overpowered. Being thrown on the bed because Bill felt so much pleasure that he simply needed more, he needed everything she could give him, he needed it even if it meant disobeying her.

And when Bill whimpered Love, when he moaned your name while fucking you so good, she imagine herself between you both. She imagined her fingers deep into you, feeling how warm and wet he made you for her. Tamerlane imagined Bill kissing her the way he did to you, with your hands tucking on her hair.

Bill brushed the hair out of your face. "So fucking pretty," he murmured against her mouth. You opened your eyes, your mouth turning in a soft smile, and you felt tears forming on your eyelid. Bill was even better than you imagined. "You're mine," he growled. "So fucking mine."

His digits found a home in your pussy, spreading your arousal against your clit. Your nails entered his skin, and with a little more force you would be able to make him bleed. And it was at that moment that Bill came apart inside you.

He filled you, made you complete, all while moaning against your face. You trapped him with your legs, leaving him even deeper inside you, and only then did you have the courage to look at her.

Tamerlane couldn't keep her eyes open. Couldn't see it. She felt so good, so soft, so on the edge of an orgasm that she couldn't control her body. Her arm burned, her fingers curled over her clit, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't do anything but continue.

So when she felt a soft tongue against her pussy, the moan sounded too much like a scream. But she opened her eyes, saw you kneeling, looking at her with so much desire, and thought of nothing but to continue. As well as letting you lick up every drop of her. Letting you make her feel as good as you made Bill just a few seconds ago.

Tamerlane imagined his cum dripping down your legs. She looked up, and saw Bill recovering on the bed. She saw his smile, the way he looked deep into her eyes. And she saw that he was happy. Really happy.

Tamerlane squeezed her hair, guiding your tongue tightly against her. She replaced her fingers with yours, and in no time Tamerlane came looking right into Bill's eyes.

He was hard. Again. Sitting on him, your back against Bill's sweaty chest, he fucked you deliciously. Again. Tamerlane licked your breasts, bit your nipples, rubbed her hand against your pussy in such a dirty way. Such a good way.

Embraced by them, you felt so right. Like you were at the exactly place you should be. Like everything in your life led you towards them. Or maybe it was just the second orgams coming.

When Tamerlane woke up later that same morning, the first thing she saw was you between them both. Bill sleeping peacefully, hugging you from behind with his hand resting on Tamerlane's tight.

And she just went back to sleep.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

62 notes · View notes

offsidenewsco · 4 months ago

Text

One week ago today, the world lost an indescribable force with the loss of Johnny Gaudreau and his younger brother, Matthew. Today, we came together to share what they meant to us, and to hockey.

Remembering the Gaudreau Brothers

More information under the cut:

Article cover photo courtesy of Jaylynn Nash.

Original tribute art courtesy of @mxaether.

Causes to support in honour of the Gaudreaus:

GoFundMe for Matthew’s Wife Madeline

Nationwide Children’s Hospital

Ohio Health Foundation

Alberta Children’s Hospital Youth Sporting Charity

Philly Youth Hockey Charity

As per their obituaries, further contributions in their honour may be mailed to the John & Matthew Gaudreau Foundation, addressed to Lewis Gross, Sports Management 560 Sylvan, Suite 3070 Englewood Cliffs, N.J. 07632.

#centre ice #nhl #nhl news #johnny gaudreau #matthew gaudreau #calgary flames #columbus blue jackets #in memoriam

17 notes · View notes

dragonclawzzz · 2 months ago

Text

Yesterday I got like 6 phones calls and a dozen texts about voting. Marc got texts saying- make sure Madeline gets out to vote! It's so creepy, I hate it.

Marc did a mail in ballot. I wanted to wait and vote on election day because I like the whole thing 😂 and now he's got me all worried I'm gonna be in line for hours. I'm going after work, so 2pm. I don't think it'll be too bad.

Also, it's Sebastian's birthday! My baby boy is 14 😭 oh my god how does this happen?!

#politics

17 notes · View notes

javierpena-inatacvest · 1 year ago

Note

this will be osita and javi future kids, waiting for daddy to come home 🥺 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNk2Doyg/

Oh my god my HEART 😭🫠 it so will, Javi will be the type of dad that when he comes home, his kids are always the first ones to greet him- they barrel full speed towards him with their arms outstretched, screaming “Daddyyyyyy!!!” And he will literally drop everything to reach out and pick them up and spin them around while he gives them cute lil ticklish kisses that make them giggle even more.

When he finally sets them down, he’ll crouch down so they can tell him all about their day and he listens so intently bc those sweet babies are his whole world 😩 And then they’ll always ask to play but he always says “I gotta so say hi to Momma first.” And when he finds Osita, he wraps her up in a tight hug (probably sneaks in a squeeze of a handful of her ass), and tells her how happy he is to see all of you. He asks if she needs anything before he goes to play with the kids and most of the time her response is no so she can watch Javi play with the kids and how sweet he is with them.

And then that night, proceeds to tell him that she’ gonna need him to put another baby in her 😭🫠🤪

Okay, WELL, my ovaries are fried, thanks non!!!!

#Madeline’s Mail

68 notes · View notes

jules-writes-stories · 6 months ago

Note

Sad to see Heart of Gold finish 💛 it was such a good fluffy summer read. Just wondering with that complete and with JEL almost done being drafted, are you working on any other projects or planning on working on any projects in the future?

Omg yes! I’ve actually started drafting a story that everyone is going to hate. 😝 It’s the origin story of Amarantha. I want to try and get some of it done for SJM villain week, but I’m so excited about it. I’m reading Madeline Miller’s “Circe” right now and it’s making me think of Amarantha and how Jurian seduced and then crucified her sister… like… I dunno, that’s a bad ass (tragic, horrific, sadistic) villain origin story? It’s also so complex with how humans are enslaved, and seen as inferior?

I dislike how SJM polarizes places, families and even characters. Like: Clythia fell in love with Jurian, enough so to go against her beloved sister, her entire family and country, her army during a war. And then Jurian gets information from Clythia and after getting that info, proceeds to torture her brutally and crucifies her. But don’t worry. Everyone from Hybern was awful and evil and deserves whatever they get…?” I mean, Jurian is a great character in the series. Poor guy pays a big price. But I have a sister. And damn. I can’t imagine… like… probably gonna get hate mail for this… what would Feyre do, or Nesta, if someone did that to Elain? You know? I bet some of our most beloved heroes would turn villain over an act like that.

So that’s my next idea. It’s in the outline phase though. So I have no idea if it will be a one shot or multi-chapter. If multi, def not very long. I’m only writing pre-UTM. Thanks for asking!

Oh, I also have a CoN Azris idea that’s just a bunch of voice notes on my phone lol… but it’s an arranged marriage non-canon compliant one. And there’s a CoN fight club. I may bring Mithras back for that one… super early stages there.

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

#wip fanfiction #ramblings of a madwoman #I love a villain #ask jules

6 notes · View notes

tiriansrambles · 8 months ago

Text

Letters. Pt 1/???

Edwin & The Cat King

ft Charles.

spoilers mentioned. please don’t read if you have not seen dead boy detectives!!!

ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩

┊ ┊ ┊ ✫

┊ ┊ ✩

┊ ⊹ ✯

✯

Edwin isn’t entirely sure when this all began. the letters. the feeling of joy when he’d receive one from dead mail. he never thought something so small would give him so much to look forward to. even though he should be focused on cases, his mind always wondered when he’d get another letter. considering he doesn’t … have a telephone. this was the best bet for any communication.

Edwin had begun to receive letters from the cat king. he shouldn’t be as surprised as he is. but he is. He was pleasantly surprised about how nice of a feeling this was. when he first got a letter from Cat King, he figured he would forget about Edwin the moment he returned to London, even after their small goodbye. He still has the Lilly, preserved and put away for safekeeping. Mostly, he doesn’t want Charles to know he kept it.

The first letter received was him asking if he was okay. It had been some time since Niko. And to be frank, he wasn’t okay. At all. Even though he knows she’s moved on now. he misses her. every day. She became a dear friend and one of the only good things that happened in Port Townsend. He missed her. Despite her bravery, she didn’t deserve to die. He wanted her here. badly. Who else could he tell about the letters? Who else could understand? But he knows, for sure, that her afterlife is pure magic. Peace. Perhaps she had reunited with her father. He hopes she’s happy, at peace. The Cat King even allowed Edwin to talk about Niko for a long while through their letters, it was nice to let it out. He still missed her though, tremendously.

Since then, they haven’t stopped writing to each other. They’ve been writing every single day for weeks on end. Between cases, he’d make the time to write something to complete the letter and send it off. He appreciates Cat King’s effort. Truly. Considering there were probably easier ways of communicating. Like a telephone, or whatever it is that the kids use nowadays. Texting and Snapchat and whatever else. He can barely register the internet. And snap chat has a ghost emoticon for its logo. offensive. what do pictures have to do with the dead?

As the letters go on, of course, there is always a flirtatious tone to them. So much so he could even read the words in his voice. Imagining him in front of him, the way he would move about. Edwin didn’t want to admit this, but he almost … /missed/ the Cat King. After taking the time to understand him, the way he behaves. they are not so different. Two lonely souls. Perhaps he found comfort in that. In him.

Edwin’s gaze follows the stroke of each letter on the page, a soft hum escaping his lips. And soon enough, he’s smiling again.

Edwin,

How are you today, handsome? I found myself bored and decided to visit the library. I know, crazy, right? What would a sexy, and powerful being like me be doing in the PortTownsend public library? Well, I remembered you talking about how reading was a good pass time. So, I figured, why not? Take a page out of Edwin Payne’s book, amirite? I don’t know how you feel about modern books as of late. But I found something rather intriguing. I think you might like this one. The Song of Achilles. Madeline Miller. Did you know they have audiobooks now, where things are read to you? But I figured you’d hate that. Too lazy for you, isn’t it?

I was thinking, as much as I love writing to you…I thought maybe we could read this together. I’m sending you the book. Let me know what you think. And maybe, just maybe you could mirror to Port Townsend. We could read and talk about it. No funny business, I promise. Cat’s honor. But yes, this is me asking you out on a date. Whether it’s friendly or romantic is up to you, you’re painfully aware of what I prefer. I’d come to you, of course, but I’m sure it would cause unnecessary drama with your bestie. Although, I love the drama. I’ll spare you the drama until you inevitably fall in love with me.

You should be receiving it soon. Let me know. Don’t keep me waiting. <3

Love,

The Cat King.

If Edwin could blush, his face would be as red as a tomato. He reads the letter, once, twice, three times. A DATE?! A date… of reading a book. Together. That was intimate. Especially to Edwin, he loved to read. To research. He has not read anything modern, though. The only other ‘person’ he shared books with was Monty. Monty… he still couldn’t believe that. He had seemed to lose interest in making any more friends or sharing things with anyone. But The Cat King is the one who reached out. As he re-reads the letter for what felt like the millionth time, he jumps at the sudden shouting.

“MAIL!!!!” Called out the delivery man. Edwin is on his feet, quietly shushing him, but thanking him nonetheless. He hands him a package. it was the book, of course. but it was wrapped neatly with a bow. the wrapping paper was an interesting shade of green with a gold bow. It seemed to be the only thing to come. , It had been such a long time since he’s received a gift. especially like this. he almost didn’t want to open it, but of course he does. and despite being quick with it, he is cautious to save the wrapping paper. He stares down at the book, a finger tracing the cover. Interesting… a modern retelling of the Trojan War? From the perspective of Patroclus? The Cat King was correct. This certainly caught his eye…

“Wait!” Edwin calls out to the delivery man before he can leave, stopping him in his tracks.

The delivery man shoots him a look, and Edwin smiles, sheepishly. “I apologize, could you just wait one moment?”

Edwin is quick to get back to his desk, setting the book down and quickly getting out parchment to respond to the Cat King.

Cat King,

I have received the book… I must say, my interest has peaked.

I would very much like to read this book with you…

Edwin hesitates, a nervous breath escaping him.

I would … enjoy this to be a date. I don’t know in what way just yet. I would like to see you. I will find time to come see you. For now, we could read and write letters back until I can mirror over. Cases always take priority, of course.

Thank you… for thinking of me. It means a lot to me.

I am looking forward to this.

Edwin.

He can tell the delivery man is getting impatient, but he gets the letter ready in the nick of time, handing it over.

“I apologize. Could you please send this…and um, perhaps when you have letters addressed to this person, could you not announce it? ”

The delivery man blinks a moment, before rolling his eyes. Perhaps he could even sense the shame Edwin felt. He was keeping this from Charles. How could he explain this to him anyhow? He would just be angry…

“Very well,” the delivery man spoke, phasing through the wall.

Edwin sighs, leaning against the desk as if the wind was knocked out of him. This was already hard enough to hide from Charles, how was he going to do this? After the confession…things were? Well, awkward wasn’t necessarily the word. They just didn’t talk about it again. Charles said they had forever to figure it out. He was right…but it was obvious. He did not feel the same. He knows he would prefer Crystal as well… if his affections are for her, then how could he keep that from him? He loved him. He just wanted him to be happy. More than anything in the world. His dearest friend. His best friend. Perhaps that is what they are destined to be. He wouldn’t have it any other way…

Even if the Cat King is still really confusing for him, he can’t lie to himself. He has grown fond. Why shouldn’t he pursue it?

Yeah. That’s exactly what he will do. If reading this book together goes well, and he truly enjoys his company? Why not.

He nods to himself, turning to look at the book on his desk. Just as he was going to reach for it, Charles’ voice snapped him to attention.

“You all right, mate? You look frazzled.” Charles asks a brow quirked in confusion.

Edwin nearly jumps out of his skin, soon taking a moment to collect himself.

“Yes. Yes, perfectly fine.” He clears his throat, soon moving his position to hide the book on his desk. As discreetly as possible, of course. He felt guilty, hiding this from Charles. But he had no way to explain this. He just knows he will be angry with him.

Another quirked brow and a chuckle escaped Charles. “You sure, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He grins.

Edwin rolls his eyes, fondly. “Ha ha. You’re hilarious, Charles Rowland.”

“Arent I just?’ Charles grins, ��really, though, you good?”

Edwin nods, “im fine, yes. just lost in thought.”

That wasn’t a total lie, of course.

“Well, Crystal and i were going to watch a movie. Care to join?” Charles asked, although he already knew the answer.

“Oh… um…” god, why was he so nervous.

“I think I’ll skip this one,” Edwin chuckles, “i uh— i would like to read tonight. You two have fun, though?” He offers, a nervous grin on his lips.

Charles brow is quirked again. The way he answered was not what he expected. A rather nice answer rather than saying something silly like it was a waste of time. There was something on his mind, but he doesn’t question. For now anyway.

“Alright then, mate. you know where we’ll be. enjoy your book.” He chuckles, offering a wave as he exits the room.

Edwin’s demeanor changed when he left, turning his attention to the book.

“Yes… i think i will enjoy it.”

#ramble with me #ramble with tiri #tirians rambles #tirianswriting #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the cat king #charles rowland #edwin x the cat king #crystal palace #i fully imagine cat king buying the book wrapping paper and bow for Edwin #I feel like he struggled wrapping that I bet it took him hours to get it perfect #he probably had some cats hold things down for him too #the man is going to be kicking his feet at the response aaaaa #this is so silly should i keep going?

13 notes · View notes

sightseeing-hatter · 6 months ago

Text

Um... Hi! I'm... Madeline, yes, I'm Madeline, and I'm a... Well, I'm a sightseer of sorts! I see a lot. I like people watching.

I really like people watching.

And hats! Hats are so fun, you can wear so many, I love them!

Um, here is what I look like if you can see me! I chose to look like a sightseer because I am one <|:D

I'm... I'm old enough, at least, hehahahaha!

//It's the hat man. Hat girl? Hat woman.

//Pelipper Mail is on!

//mod and muse are adults

#pokeblogging #rotomblr #pokemon irl #irl pkmn #pokeblog rp #irl pokemon #pkmn irl #rotomblr cryptids

6 notes · View notes

the-tulpars-quartermaster · 2 months ago

Text

Meleana Lore Dump !!

Mostly for mod bc sometimes I'm really bad at keeping track of my oc's lore and details ꒰ᐢ◞ ◟ᐢ꒱,, But also just an excuse for me to talk about my daughter lol Everything under the cut !!

Master list,,

📋 ; Basic Info 📋 ; Backstory 📋 ; Relationships (Friends + Family) 📋 ; Fun / Assorted Facts

Basic Info,,

📋 Name : Meleana Katsaros, 📋 Job on the Ship : Quartermaster and documentary specialist 📋 Nicknames : Mel, Mely, Kat, Honey (because her name Meleana comes from the word honey in Greek) 📋 Sexuality / Gender : Demigirl, Bisexual (she/they) 📋 Age : 22 y/o, 📋 Height : 5'6" 📋 Ethnicity : Greek / Filipino, Born + raised in the Philippines 📋 Birthday : Oct 15

📋 Favorite Movie : The Secret World of Arrietty (Ghibli Film) 📋 Favorite Book : The Song of Achilles (Madeline Miller) 📋 Favorite Musicians : Phoebe Bridgers, Mitski, Laufey, Kiltro 📋 Favorite Hobbies : Crocheting, drawing / journaling

Backstory,,

Meleana had a pretty normal childhood, being brought up by loving parents and being the eldest of 4 kids. She always looked after her younger siblings, being the designated "parent" for them whenever their actual parents were out (which was often, as their mother was working abroad and their father worked late to provide for all 5 siblings)

She graduated college with a Master of Finance (MFin or MSF) and soon got hired at Pony Express as the quartermaster and documentary specialist, working there a few cargo travels before Daisuke was added in last minute for one cargo trip

Relationships,,

📋 Family :

↪ Liezel Myra R. Katsaros (Mother) ; Mostly positive, despite not seeing her much in person due to her being an OFW. They call often, at least when Meleana is on earth. She writes to her while on cargo trips, saving the letters to mail later

↪ Elias Katsaros (Father) ; Same with her mother, but they're a little closer due to him being there physically for her all throughout her childhood

↪ Mariam R. Katsaros (Younger sister) ; Very positive, they're the closest out of all the siblings. Mari (as Meleana calls her) helps take care of Adonis and Althea whenever Meleana is off to work, and in return Meleana takes care of the twins whenever Mari gets busy with her own work on earth

↪ Adonis + Althea R. Katsaros (Twin siblings, youngest) ; Neutral positive, they get along well enough for siblings but the large age gap between them creates a small disconnect. Still, Meleana tries to be there for them and be present in both their lives. She shows up to their grade school events, whenever she can.

📋 Co-workers (Friends?) :

↪ Captain Curly ; Professional respect, but not much of a friendship. They work well together, but aren't particularly close. Meleana admires him greatly, sees him as a model captain

↪ Jimmy ; No opinion on him, avoids him if possible because he intimidates her, but she tries not to make it too personal. She wants to remain friendly with him and tries her best to

↪ Anya ; Sees her almost like her own mother, but she'd never tell her that. They talk often, would consider each other friends. She often leaves little drawings for Anya whenever she would drop by to check on medicine stock

↪ Swansea ; Kind of the same with Jimmy, not much of an opinion but as much as possible she tries to avoid him because he scares her a little. Once again, tries not to take anything personally and remain friendly with him

↪ Daisuke ; She thinks he's a weird little guy /vpos. At first she thought she wouldn't get along much with him due to how immature he seemed at first, but she actually surprised herself by how fond of his attitude she became. Tries (and fails) to be normal around him

( Will update with her rls with other oc rp accounts as I continue to rp with them < ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱)

Fun / Assorted Facts,,

↪ Collects can tabs, has a whole jar of them that she keeps on a shelf in her room. She doesn't know why she collects them, she just does

↪ Has a My Melody plushie she had since she was 5, named her Little Mel (Got the idea from her father, who called the plush 'Little Mel' because she used to carry it everywhere as a kid)

↪ Understands + Speaks Tagalog semi-fluently (disuse has made her rusty) but is struggling hard with Greek

↪ Has anemia, denies this fact strongly and refuses to take iron supplements

↪ Kind of refuses to seek medical attention in general, hates making a fuss about herself unless she thinks she's in actual, genuine danger (or trying to find an excuse to talk to Anya / whoevers in medical at that moment)

( Will update as I please < ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱)

Thank you for reading all of this!! And if you somehow got to the bottom of all of this and actually read everything, dm me "꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱" and It'll earn you a free drawing of an oc of your choosing :DD

Thank you again for reading, and good day / night !!

#📋🖋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ meleana katsaros #📋Lore Masterpost #mouthwashing #mouthwashing oc #mouthwashing rp #mouthwashing account #mouthwashing game #ask blog #oc #oc rp #rp account

4 notes · View notes

kikuism · 1 year ago

Note

hi mariam!! i'd love to know what your essential reads are. what books would be assigned in mariam 101?? 📚 ✨

hi jenna!! *forgets every book i've ever read* this is so hard bc i feel like i go through phases with the books i gravitate toward but here are the books that as of now define my taste.....i think mainly for me it comes down to two things, beautiful, immersive prose and intricate character work. as long as a book has either of these i'm sold.

the raven cycle. when i think of a series that's literally actually changed me as a person this is it. the series of all time??? rewrote the wiring of my brain back in 2018. it made me the writer i am today. no book has since had that kind of impact on me. this is still the book that has the strongest cast of characters i've ever read. their dynamics with themselves and with each other is done in such a way that's just insane to me <3 the character work in this series is crazy, how the hell did she accomplish this. i love books with a deep focus on the characters and their relationships with each other and this is the cream of the crop. i love no plot just vibes bc same, it was never about glendower it was always the friends we made along the way. i love the small town setting and the mystical magical cabeswater, it's all very tightly interconnected. like there's a reason snapshots of passages are still being passed around tumblr today, there's just something new to go insane over with every reread. it's like....the smallest thing in a description will have such a huge impact on the way a character/situation is perceived. it's the way that like almost every sentence actually has something to say? like after adam and gansey fight at gansey's house in the dream thieves, there's this line: 'it was already dark, now it was black', which is serving a dual purpose of telling us about the setting outside but also the aftermath of the fight itself....like it's just small moments like these that add So Much. one day i'm going to reread the series properly from start to finish.

the witch’s heart. my first read of 2021 and i still think about it fondly. it's a quiet, lush, atmospheric book about a scorned witch who makes a life for herself at the fringes of the earth and eventually starts her own family. it's very touching and tender and the themes of motherhood and sacrifice made me quite emotional. it's slow, quiet, tragic and triumphant all at once. i could Feel like i was there with them and i always love when a book can do that.

the song of achilles. another book that made me insane in 2018. i will read anything madeline miller writes. she does it so beautifully.....i always feel like i'm there in the worlds she describes. this story is so tragic and beautiful. i remember my sister and i just breaking down after i finished the book and we were discussing the ending hfkshfjf i love when that happens!

circe. i remember when i got this book in the mail i opened it and started and finished it right then and there in one sitting. i love quiet introspective books like this one, with a character alone against a massive landscape. i love how inhospitable the island is and how cruel and malicious it is to her at the start and how slowly she tames and cultivates it to become her own home. i love the life she makes for herself, i love how doubly alone she feels in both her banishment and immortality. i love books that feel like a casper friedrich painting, where a character is set in a dimished perspective against an expansive landscape:

the dutch house. i read this book earlier in the year and i think it's going to be my top read of the year. i wasn't expecting it at all. it's about the lives of two siblings across three generations, from their childhood to when their stepmother kicks them out of their home to the lives they end up making for themselves over the years. it's written so beautifully, and the sibling relationship is the main focus of the book. and it's written from the perspective of the younger brother, about his older sister and everything she means to him, which i hadn't read before, and it was very tender. they're all they have and they support each other through thick and thin over the years and it's so heartwarming. it's also about the longing for the past, and the hold it has on us in the present, and what it means to let go of it. even as adults, danny and meave park outside of their childhood home, the dutch house, and just sit and look at it, reminiscing, even though nothing is left for them there anymore. they can't seem to let it go. the whole family dynamic, especially with their estranged step mother, is absolutely top notch. i definitely need to read more from this author.

the catcher in the rye. i'll never forgive people who said this is a red flag book and all that nonsense. i felt deeply while reading this story about profound loneliness and a craving for human warmth and connection. holden is just a lonely kid and i ended up caring deeply for him, way more than i ever expected to. this is such a lovely little book that tugged at my heart. it also reminds me of a casper friedrich painting: holden set against massive, sprawling new york.

the last unicorn. such a magical book with such a simple story. the writing is out of this world lovely. it reminded me that sometimes a simple story can be the most beautiful experience. it reminded me of the childlike wonder and awe you experienced back them when you read something enchanting. i felt everything so deeply, from amalthea’s loneliness as the last unicorn to her anguish and sorrow when she becomes a human. i wish i had a physical copy of this one.

the locked tomb. ahhh....i still feel like i'm too dumb to fully understand this series in its entirety but i'm so glad i read these. tamsyn muir’s writing is just on another level.....these books are so funny but also deeply poignant and cutting and complex. no idea how she holds it all in her head bc i'm so confused as to what's going on hfjshfh. i don't even care for sci fi but she writes with such an engaging and charismatic voice. i love all of these characters so much, i could read them all day everyday....it's another rare series for me where the characters feel so real they could leap off the page. it's such a skill to be able to do that, and with such a huge cast. seriously, something shifted in the culture with these books and i'm so glad they exist.

the green bone saga. as an adult i've found it's hard to find a series that makes me feel the way i did as a teenager, when all i did was read series and trilogies. that excitement of theorizing what might happen in the next book felt so distant until i read this series. every time i had to put the book down all i could think about was what was going to happen next, i was so excited and tense, and that feeling was something i hadn't really felt since my teenage years, that sort of excitement. the world is so fully fleshed out, and feels so cinematic, the way each scene plays out in my head like a movie. the characters are fully realized people and i was so invested in their lives and conflicts. i went though every spectrum of emotion reading these books. it was so much fun. fonda lee is a master storyteller.....this is how you worldbuild. i wouldn't change a single thing about these books from start to finish. i've honestly never been much of a world building person but this is the first series where i Really Noticed it and it's incredible. the best world building i've ever read for sure.....no other story world feels as alive as this one.

these violent delights by micah nemerever. right after i finished this book i started reading it again and annotated like my life depended on it. no book has ever done that to me before. this book is about a toxic relationship and it's so intricately constructed....it's a book you Must annotate or else you miss out. i love when love morphs into obsession and murder <3 paul and julian are deeply unwell and i was so here for it. and the last line of this book is just insane.....i read that and flipped right back to the start, there was no other choice.

atonement. lazy golden summers in the english countryside, an old family home, forbidden love, the horrors of war, the innocence and naivete of childhood.....ian mcewan had a mission and did he ever deliver. i was stunned by the beautiful writing and the way he put into words the trials and joy of the act of writing, of telling a story. it's about how one moment can change everything forever, it's about how nothing you do will ever atone for it, it's about writing your own narrative. i know i'll never read anything like this ever again. it started a little phase where i only wanted to read books set in this time period and setting.

hamlet. i started my 2022 with a bang...i love when the hyperfixation hits!!!! it is as good as everyone says.....i love when men are haunted by their grief and indecision <3 stand up hamlet!!!!!! but for real this is such a good portrayal of grief and anguish and bearing responsibilities you aren't ready for. i love when the setting is a character in and of itself, i love how elsinore is a surveillance prison, i love how everyone is putting on an act, 'but break my heart for i must hold my tongue', i love how hamlet and ophelia are foils of each other especially in regards to the impossible expectations their fathers place on them. and it was such a delight to read shakespeare’s way with words—hamlet had so many delightful, witty, snarky retorts that were genuinely so much fun to read. the wordplay and the puns.....i was like i get it now, he is the writer of all time!! so clever and so creative. also idk there's just something about reading something written so long ago that makes me feel insane....firstly the fact that i can read it at all and secondly that humans are connected across time and space like we really all go through the same trials and joys and i just have to sit down. whew i feel the brainrot coming back so i'll stop!!!!!

the secret history. i feel like donna tart would call me slurs but i did really enjoy this book. the definition of atmospheric.....i was there in that fall-swept college taking those crazy ancient greek classes about bacchanals. richard get out of this friend group they're all a bunch of freaks!!! i really couldn't stop reading, and the writing was beautiful too.

i capture the castle. so delightful. the narrator is one of the most charismatic i have read in recent years. i thoroughly enjoyed reading her diary entries detailing her life and the way it changes and the way she changes so by the end of the book she is not the same girl she was at the start. it was very charming and very funny....i had a really fun time reading this one.

the picture of dorian gray. read it for my oscar wilde class and immediately went bonkers. i had to put the book down so many times bc i just couldn't believe what i was reading. 'it was not intended as a compliment. it was a confession'. hello??????? i know mr wilde had to take a walk after that one. and the concept is so intriguing too! it reminds me of the tiktok girlies who are doing the most insane things to ward off aging. noooo dorian don't sell your soul to the painting you're so sexy aha.

monster. i read the entire manga in a few days on my phone, that's how good it is.....i knew from the very first chapter this was a masterpiece. the dynamic between tenma and johan makes me froth and the mouth.......the stories within the story.....nina and johan......mr grimmer......the way kindness triumphs in the cold darkness.....urasawa writes so skillfully. and the art!!!!! he truly doesn't draw the same expression twice. what a story. i cried after finishing it because i knew i would never read anything like it ever again.

blue period. i don't know if this one counts because it's not finished and i myself haven't caught up with in more than a year now, but it's still so special to me. it's all about the trials and tribulations and the joys of being an artist—any kind of artist, in any capacity. the fears and insecurities that plague you. art in a personal capacity, art in a professional capacity, art as self expression. i've never read a manga like this one before, that so fully understands what it means to be an artist. it's so so well done. if you're an artist or love art in any capacity, this manga is for you. it's always going to be special to me.

chainsaw man. i can't believe i almost forgot to mention chainsaw man???? fujimoto is an insaneee story teller and the more time passes the more i have to appreciate about this story. it's just so different from everything else in the shounen manga department and it's such a breath of fresh air for me personally. power system who??? i love how you can think of the craziest shit and then this manga takes it up to 11. i just love the juxtaposition of spine tingling terror (the darkness devil introduction) and fever dream madness (kobeni burger king dance dance dance). but what i love most is the character work with denji. i've never seen such an intimate focus into one character’s psyche in this genre before. he has such a skewed concept of human connection and especially love because of his upbringing and then the juxtaposition between his feelings for makima and his feelings for power and aki is like.....sir i thought this was a horror comedy manga?? it's the way makima gives him exactly what he wants and then brutally tears it away from him....and the themes of food and eating.....and then in part 2 we see him doing his best with what he's got....it makes me feel so much. i Love the character writing in this manga so much. and the insane out of this world fights are just another bonus. the silly shenanigans really make the intricate character work stand out that much more. fujimoto is a one of a kind storyteller for sure. it's like....for me, this is the manga equivalent of a tamsyn muir book. the locked tomb and chainsaw man have the same energy to me—it's that combination of wacky and poignant in the same breath.

okay these are the books from recent years. 2016-2017 is such a blank space for me i can't remember anything except for sjm 😭 good lord. now i have to rely on my memory....

growing up, i had a penchant for cozy, family-centric stories.....the first mary poppins book, the ramona series, jacqueline wilson books (specifically, little darlings, clean break, my sister jodie, lily alone). i would reread these like crazy bc i Loved going into that really cozy world of fun and sometimes messy family dynamics. these books were really just slice of life and i absolutely adored them.

oh! i almost forgot to mention inkheart! i have such fond memories of these books. i really can't remember the plot exactly but it's all about books and stories and i think they literally jump inside a book and that's where the real story happens, i think. really magical. and i'll always fondly think of the character dustfinger.

i also Loved mystery books.....i read so many famous five books back in middle school. something about these cozy british mysteries. i was actually obsessed with them.

and then on the other hand i LOVED the goosebumps books. i was obsessed. i would save up my money to buy them. most of the time they weren't even really scary but i just loved the vibes....they were so charming. i loved the atmosphere. there would be lines like 'the tv was playing a news channel. in the empty house, the sound started to make me feel uneasy so i switched it off' or something like that and it was just moments like those that would make me uneasy more than the actual monsters in the books.

and i can't forget the princess diaries hfkshfhfh i was also kind of obsessed with these books and i still have quite a few of them. i loved how charismatic the narrator was and how funny they were and how dramatic they could get. i thought american highschool and teenage life was just like what was happening in these books. hugely entertaining. i would spend a lot of time just rereading them over and over.....they were kind of influential for me.......

sorry for writing a novel once again, i really wish i kept better track of what i read over the years but yeah these are the books that majorly define my taste/have influenced me in some way.

#answered #sorry for making you wait so long jenna clearly i cannot shut up about books #schech #how many times have i written the word obsessed help

13 notes · View notes